tsk. i dont understand why..

ne, ohchan can you pls keep me company today? can i have ohchan for today? ;_; *clings to ohchan* im so not letting him go anywhere today. i miss him too much =_=;

nothing is worth mentioning today. nothing fun. i didnt sleep at all last night. completed my report ard 7. i just need to release this or else i'll burst. ._.

im not stupid. BETRAYED. i feel betrayed.

and that's a big NG for me. that's what i hate the most no kidding. i can stand those who lied to me (well sometimes). but not who betrayed my trust. fufu~ altho i might think about it all over again, heal myself, forgive and forget everything. but the scar on my heart can never be healed. it will never fade away. dakara, it hurts. :|

im a scorpio. according to my very own theory; im a scorpion but i wont hurt you, i wont bother to hurt you as long as you respect my freedom n space that i need. i can be a good friend that will always protect you, i've got a poison remember? BUT. dont u ever think of betraying me. dont you ever step on me. for i am a silent killer. once you step on me, i die, and you'll die too. because i've got a poison deshou? >D RAWR.

so dont mess with me. *MAOUish chuckle*

but oh well i hate being angry. i hate revenge. i hate grudges. i love smiles. i love to love and to be loved.

im trying to forget it. but i cant. its true ne, sometimes in this world, there are some truth that is better not knowing.

i just dont get why... it hurts me and i feel like crying.

*hugs ohchan tightly* yes, im gonna be like this all day long. cos i love my ohchan too much. wawawa~ i dunno why, lately im having this 'im-missing-ohchan-too-much' syndrome. *sigh* XD;; maa~ i guess that's what we call the true love, love for no reason. LOL. *faint smile* iyaaa~ being deluded like this is the best way to heal me. ehm. arigatou ne ohchan *CHUUs*

but still, i feel betrayed.
ja ne minna... ehhh chotto matte...

uwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~ whaawhaawasthat? O_O

kyaaaaa~ its super yattaOHCHANNNman to the rescueeeeeee \(^0^)/
bwahahhahaah oh i love. :3

gagagaa. ignore chii and ignore the bakabaka stupid drawing XD;;. she's crazy. LOL. and i dont have any idea why the girl up there looks like a dog? a cat? to me waaaahahah~ XD DAIFAILURE!

ahh~ now i feel better. yosh~ ohchann let go~ teeheee :3
ja ne minna, gotta go now. ^^

scan credit to: jesy-chan@lj :)

chii-chan talking to herself. so, ignore her.

CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
CHII-channnnnnnnnnn GANBATTEE!
said ohchan XD ♥ *gets bricked*

pls throw away all the unnecessary feelings or else u'll be a dead meat. once u started being negative u know how bad u'll be. so stop stop stop it! kitto daijoubu. altho the dateline is well, yesterday, u still have time to complete all the reports. ganbatte! dont stop! keep going and you'll be fine.

... im not in a good shape today. its just that, i feel a bit lonely since yesterday and i need sweet things to eat .__________. i hate all this unnecessary feelings. they're causing me to stop. and i cant help but to feel hungry all the time, which is bad. and i think i've messed up my hormone balance too. im starting to lose my hair, srsly. my aunt told me to be careful, or else sooner or later i might be bald in no time XD;; okayyy stop it. its not my fault, i cant control it right? its not like i wish for it. ahh~ maybe cause i've got too many sleep debts. ;_; its not like im watching arashi too much or anything. lately i've been downloading stuffs but i didnt watch them. hmm~ syeesh.

i dunno why my brain refused to generate any idea. i got confused with the report. something is bothering me, but i dont know what the thing might be. =_=

and i have this habit that i hate, whenever im doing any work, my brain will start to generate weird ideas, weird questions like 'is it supposed to be this way?' 'is it better to do it that way instead of this way?' 'am i doing the right thing?' 'ehhh~ what am i doing?' 'what do i do now?'

it seems like im panicking deshou? those are the reason why im slow. =_=; meccha slow. and put aside the fact that my vocabs and engrish are real limited and bad. hahahahahahahah.

but oh well, i know all this crap, this hellish 2 weeks will end soon. yep on the 20th afternoon. >D i've gone thru many difficulties before, so many disasters before, and i know i can face this one too. yoshhhhhhhhhhhhhh~ *fire-ry eyes*

doushiyo yo?!

i am reading a motivational book now, 'Being a Happy Teenager' XD; my father gave me the book as a birthday present few years ago. srsly, lately im into this kind of books. instead of reading fantasy and the likes, i prefer self-development book, cos i really do love motivational things. actually i've read this book thousands of time but still everytime i reread it, i kinda learnt a new lesson. just now, i came across this line.. 'we choose how we see things so if you want a peace of mind, stop labelling things as 'good' and 'bad'. Which means that, if we choose to keep thinking positively, sooner or later, good things will definitely come towards us.

The happiest person in this world is happy not because they got so many good things happening in their lives its just that they keep trying to change the best to the very best in everything that came into their lives. :3

im afraid i am gonna burst. forcing my brain to work extra harder 8D; aaaaaa~ i cant believe this. gagaga~ the most tiring thing that ever happened in my life. (for now, maybe LOL)

since yesterday i've been doing my report on web evaluation. alright i've completed it this morning yes, at 7am+. and had a major break down after that. cant even move a finger, i've used all my energy obviously. and after a not-so-good-rest i am now doing my research report. but it seems like i am too tired to the point that i cant even think of any word to construct my very first sentence for the introduction. damn. i am not moving.

im doing a research about 'wonder pets may bring in one's life'. it is indeeed a topic that i'll enjoy because.. well i love pets and i'd like to encourage ppl to think that pets are definitely beneficial to others, so using KBKK and all i can talk wtvr i want. :3 but the thing is imm tired.

and at time like this, i need to be MECCHA POSITIVE. until then only i can do my work non stop and yes, worry-free. demo...... suddenly i am thinking about my JLPT. i'll be taking the papers on 6th december. the last lesson i had with sensei was LESSON 17 out of 25/26 lessons? that was few weeks ago, a month ago perhaps? befo i moved into my new house. due to some problems, it is obvious that i cant resume my class immediately =_= n now that my house finally looked like a house, i cant wait to resume my nihongo class. BUT, i cant. i still havent touch my shukudais from lesson 14-17. ;_; i wanna do it so badly, i wanna revise everything demo... i cant or else im not gonna be able to finish up my research. and right after finishing my reports, i will need to revise all my 5 killer subjects. cos the my final is about to start. its this monday-friday. 16th-20th november. *foaming at mouth*

i am mad at myself. am i finding reasons for myself? reasons for not doing the japanese shukudai =_=; aaaaaaaaaa wakannai. wtvr it is, i still want to give my best shot on my finals and of course the JLPT. give it a try. be it a failure or triumph, a least i've tried my best. :'( for me to think that way, its positive enough... right? XD;

hey im still in my yay-yay mode so this isnt considered as a bad-mood-post aite? LOL i am just a bit depressed as i have not yet completed my 20-25pages research report. there's a long LONGGG way to go! im currently doing the intro part still. HAHAHAHA and the dateline was supposed to be today too. HAHAHAHAHA ;_;

atashi GANBARIMASU! (*^*)9 i will try to finish my report by tomorrow. or atleast by thursday. i hope sir wont eat me. fu fu fu~

BUNNY ATTACK!

LOL what was that? XD;
(i've just watched eito's Murakami Dokkiri. it kinda remind me on his 'BABUN ATTACK'. LOL!) teehee~ actually syusyu's the one who came up with that idea for me! it matched my nickname RAWR2BUNY deshou?! ^^ teehee. special banner for arashi's debut anniv and also ohchan's month! YEAY :D im sooo soo not gonna change to any other banner, not until another 1 or 2 years time, maybe. LOL.

MINNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ♥
syusyu made me a new banner! i love my syusyu shooooooo much! i love the banner srsly ;_; i feel like crying now. yes kill me for being such a drama queen. for exaggerating.

i cant describe how much i love the H's magazine scans of arashi! 8DDD its cho refreshing that whenever i looked at it, it'll definitely draw a smile on my face! :DDDD GYAAAAAAAAA~ help! im falling in love with my very own banner LOL XD ohchan looks superbly kawaii with that kamehameha pose! *CHUUsss* srsly, its true then, no matter what, chii can never leave ohchan behind. LOL. never! ♥

you know what, actually i thot this post would be like 3-4 lines of YATTAAAA then, the end. but. eheheh~ chii will always be chii XD the one who can never get rid of her habit of writing a-never-ending-essay-everywhere. XD

ok, last but not least, saigo ne, I AM SERIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH THE BANNER & OF COURSE SYUSYU ♥

uu~ can i print the banner? LOL i wanna paste it in my new room. teehee 8D the first arashi mark in my room! YAYYY! (yes do it and kaachan will definitely kill me HAHA)

ok enough. im still in the middle of completing my web evaluation report. which is like only 40% completed. UH OH! T^T

ja ne minna! XD;

arashi aishiteru :D

UWAA~ im feeling SUPAA FRESHHH XD *insert SUPER FRESH's BGM here*
(cos she just woke up from a deep sleep. HAHAHA)
fufufu, i wanna flail but i cant. so its gonna be short, ehem, i hope XD;

seriously im missing arashi too much. yes missing arashi TOO MUCH. im CHO arashi deprived. i only watched arashi PVs and my girl raw + subbed for my daily dose of arashi, no more than that ;_;. fufufu~ and most of the time, i'll be sleeping or 'having fun' with my dear assignments. the d8lines of the assignments are tomorrow. HAHAHA but im not done yet. im still drafting my reports. there are 2 reports. YAYY last minute is fun! XD *gets bricked* but that's my style yo! XD; even ohchan had his own freestyle deshou? (ok i know im totally not making any sense here. HAHA)

but good thing, im in my yay-yay mode now. :D atleast im able to do my work, one by one, slowly ^__________^ its better deshou? hehe. i hope i wont continue ranting and complaining here soon. fufufu~

OKAYYYYYYYY back to the main point (phew, yappari chii-chan cant write a short entry. BWAHAHAHA >D)

alright i might be late, but i dont care XD; im just to busy to write this post and finally i got sometime for my self :DDD. teehee~ i got the latest scans of wink up as soon as it was released. yes the december's Wink Up. i saw the poster. okay. then i was like 'i feel like i saw that very same picture somewhere. but.. doko? O_O;' cho clueless. im sure i got the exact picture somewhere in my laptop. but i dont bother to find it XD; HAHAHA. and it has been bugging me for days. until my dear kouhai-chans (nadia-chan, syza-chan, fatin and nana) came to my house, they mentioned that ARASHI took the same picture once. i was like, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa YAPPARIIII! how can i be choooo stupid! LOL! i definitely have that picture from their debut; 1999! XD LOL without thinking much, i searched for the picture in every arashi picture folders in my truthkun. anddd JYANN~ hereeee it is! *shining eyes*

chibi arashi-channsss ♥
this is like, 10 years back? :DDD 1999.
a picture for their debut single, A.RA.SHI if im not mistaken. fufufu~ CHO KAWAIII ;_;

andddddddddddddddddddd JYANNN~

2009.

the ojiisansss (wait for another 100 years for me to call them ojiisans XD;) boys! XDDD; they've turned into 5 young men dont they? awwww, *squeeze in the middle of ohchan and aiba nii and clings* CHOOO KAWAIII ;_; ahahahah. LOOOKKKK! hora mite! 8D whoever thought of this idea, taking a picture with the very same pose and style... TENSAI DESUUUU! ♥ its perfect deshou? see? their hands, their positions. EVERYTHING, ZENBU is the same XD; but yes, the clothes, of course its different LOL.

teehee, ohchan XD; he looks cho much younger. cho much cuter. *pinches cheeks* i love arashi. this is the reason why i love them so much :3 fufu~ just by looking at this 2 pictures. it seriously make me happy! XD lalalalalalaaaa~

Scan Credit by : oomontyoo & pornvilai@LJ

*side note: i just visited hani's bloggy and i just realized that she posted about this too. LOL chii's cho late XD;;;*

ahhh~ ok enough. i cant flail too much XD; or else i will start neglecting my reports for sure. fufufu :3 and i hate streamyx for now, it's cho unstable. maybe because its still new and all, but who cares. grr, i really need my internet now for the research. tsk~

I JUST CANT WAIT FOR 20th NIGHT!!! 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ♥
ok ja ne minna! for those who's currently having any exams, GOOD LUCK! :D isshou ni ganbatte ne! (^0^)9

aibabyebye~ :P

p/s: kouhai-chans, do come to my house whenever u guys are free ne! it is cho much fun to flail with u guys! :DD teehee :') and no, ur not disturbing at all nadia-chan :D

a big red ladybird to make me happy..

this was supposed to be posted last 2 days:
konseki kinda killed me. i might be laughing and stalking ppl right now, because i need to fill in the emptyness in me. i was crying just now, n decided to stop. hunybuny might be sad to see me like that.. so i decided to be stronger.

demo ne, my playlist played 'Konseki'. and these 4 lines makes me cant stop crying:

Though you have died, you live submerged in my heart, I could love someone else, but there is no one but you. No matter how many seasons I struggle through, I'm afraid of letting go, of letting it disappear.

srsly, i cant hold back my tears anymore. waterfall of tears. the lyrics. its not like hunybuny died but, yeah we can interpret the song meaning into anything aite? =_= she is too important to me. i just thought of bringing her into my room n sleep together like we used to do before.. demo.. its too late already.

yes i am not okay, but i will be okay. i just need some time.

i just woke up just now. feeling real empty. something is wrong. something is missing. apart of me is already missing. it hurts to know that she's not with me anymore.

i cant help but thinking, IF someone did kidnapped her, did they treat her just the way she likes it? will they ever know that she hates whiskas & friskies more than everything? will they ever know that hunybuny only eats royalcanin's: persian 30 cats food?

i wonder if she's very scared right now. hunybuny is not really friendly you know, she's always with me. she's not even close to my other family members. ;_; i wish i can hug and calm her now.

*sigh*

and this was supposed to be posted yesterday:
waaa MECCHA TSUKARETA! T_T just got back from, many places. tsk tsk~ i dont even get to change my clothes after i got back from school. *sigh* lucky tomorrow i WONT be going to class. because there's no class for tomorrow. but sir wanted to make a class tomorrow, so that the others can finish their presentation. LUCKY i've presented earlier >D so yes, dont xpect to see me in the class tomorrow.

i wanna go search for hunybuny again :( and go buy a collar for koko-chan T_T i dont wanna lose koko-chan too. snifff~

ok enough XD; im afraid i'll be all tears if i talked too much..

one big fat red ladybird.
now my croco-chan got a new friend yo!
now all i need is a buny :3

tell me, is it a ladybird season or what? XD; fufufu, blame mygirl? masamune n koharu-chan? LOL. ♥ i loveee it! ehm, my aunt bought it for me. we went to ikea just now and she secretly bought this for me. she said, she know i was crying alone secretly last night. i thot she was sleeping, but she actually heard me crying silently. hazukachii T_T. thx mak yang. :') she said she hope i wont be too sad because of hunybuny. fufu~ ;_; yeah im sad but somehow im okay now. lotsa ppl comforted me n it makes me feel LOTS N LOTSA BETTER.

but.. *sigh* im still waiting for my dear hunybuny ;_; pls come back hunybuny-chan T_T i mish yuu~ i dreamt of her coming back last night. im sure, kitto, she'll be back somedayy! :3

ohh, i can barely open my eyes T_T need to sleep, srsly, need sleep! oki doki, ja ne minna! oh i mish fna-chan syusyu hani n twin! aaaaaaaaaaaaa~ ;_;

okok no more talking. zzzzzz

and finally, today's post:

alright, i bought a collar for koko-chan, a red polka dot collar :3 i hope no one will take koko-chan away from me ;_; oh and i bought one collar for hunybuny too! its d same with koko-chan's but its BLUE! :3 im still hoping for hunybuny's return. kitto daijoubu. i got a strong feeling that she'll be back. :DDD i dont know why. i just feel it. she'll be back. *beams*

oh oh! i watched my girl 4. yes RAW XD; anddddddddd i cant stop falling in love with koharu & masamune. i want a papa like aiba nii! and a daughter? or a sis like koharu? ehehe *glares at lil monsters* ♥ i cant wait for the subs! and the ending too! XD; and and OHITORISAMAAA, teppeiiiii is ♥ i cant wait for epi 3's softsub. i dlded the raw already and watched it already. now all i need to do is wait for the sub. (i feel like i've just read somewhere, someone is doing the same thing as me, was it hani? XD LOL). yes i stalked ourhour like 2-3times EVERY hour for updates HAHAHA.

ok need to do my assignments. they're growing ;_; no matter how hard i tried to finish them. haih~ ;_;

ja ne minna!

p/s: and syusyu pls know that chii mish you too! :3 mcm da lame je kite x cakap ni? XD;

hunybuny, pls come back :(

early in the morning, a drama had started. after staying up whole night, finishing my (unresearched) report slides presentation, i finally rest my head on a pillow beside my truth-kun. then suddenly, kaachan entered my room and told me,

'sha, i think we had lost hunybuny. she's nowhere to be seen since the morning'.

i am cho sleepy, with a half opened eyes i asked my mom again, 'what.. do u mean?'.

'i tried searching at our old house but she's not there too. im afraid someone kidnapped her..'

without washing my face, i went outside, screaming as loud as i can at the top of my voice, HUNYBUNYYYYYY thousand times. usually, she'll definitely jumps out towards me the moment i called out her name.. but to my disappointment, after 10-15mins of searching and screaming, she's not anywhere.

demo, i tried my best to calm down. told syusyu everything and she calmed me down. okay, i decided to wait till afternoon. till i got back from my classes. can feel tears burning in my eyes. i cant hold back the tears. it hurts me too much! :(

the best part was, today is the day i need to present my research report and the title i had chosen was 'PETS: Wonders Pets May Bring in One's Life'. I almost broke into tears while presenting. There's one part i am emphasizing that 'Pets and its owner are like a family, they are one. By having a pet, it can reduce lonliness and depression because no matter how hard the day was, at least they can feel that there're someone that waits for their return at home. etcetc' ;_;

i got back from class just now. my heart hoping to see her infront of the gate waiting for my return.. but.. no, she's not there. i tried to call out her name again, but...

i missh her too much already. T_______________________T i hope she'll be home by tonight.

few days ago she's still here. fufufu~ she's in the cage with koko-chan because they're still new with the new house's envi. we're afraid that they might get lost ;_;

hunybuny beside my truthkun, doing assignments with me ;_;

this is me studying for finals early in the morning with hunybuny.

i hope to continue being with her. i know i said this line in my presentation just now, 'all living things will die or separate from us one day and by having pets, we will come to learn to accept losing something/someone precious to us.. demo this is too sudden yo! :( hunybuny is still sulking and i havent said my sorry properly. T^T i took her for a bath few days ago and god knows how she's real mad at me. fufu~ we got better tho but still, i dont get to spend much time with her lately. uuu~ i wish, i wish i can see hunybuny again. god please, i hope she'll be fine, wherever she is, pls protect her. she's already apart of me, she's like my own sister.

she's the one who will wait for my return at the door everyday.
she's the one who'll walk beside me to the gate every morning.
she's the one who'll listen to me and come to me when i cried alone.
she's the one who always sleep with me at night.
she's the one who loves to accompany me when i stayed up all nite.

yes, hunybuny did all that for the past 8/9 years we're together.

fufu~ gomen ne minna, i know im being too melancholic lately. minna must already be tired to read all my rants and problems. gomenasai. bad things keep happening. srsly, i tried my best to be strong. (*^*) but yes, i am a normal human too,

hunybuny, i will definitely wait for u to come back. ZETTAI NI! T__________________T *cries*

gomen ne ARASHI-chans. i shud be happy celebrating the anniv, demo..... :( not a word can describe how much i loveLOVE OHCHAN AIBA-NII SHO-CHAN NINO AN-CHAN & JUN NIISAMA. even if hunybuny is not missing, i will still be this speechless yo. im not good with words when i am too excited on something. fufu~ ARASHI-chans, OMEDETOU! pls continue being kirakira and we the ARASHIAN will definitely support you guy ne! *huggles*